“What do we love to hate?”
Since the gaming industry is the biggest entertainment industry in the world, the games are released at a rate that could easily shame the concept of population explosion… Ok maybe not but yes it’s high time everyone knows that. More production means more criticism, thus anyone and everyone today expects a top notch game with every feature thoroughly satisfying i.e. gameplay, presentation, graphics, sound etc. And if some games are let down on one or more aspects it gets riddled with censure. So here we have few pathetic titles which sadly should not have been released.
Here are the top 5 worst games:
5. Airport Tycoon 1,2,3 , Global Star:
So which one of the three is the worst? If you have ample time please let us know… On second thought, don’t. Keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, including us. Because no one really has time to check, it’s horrible enough to try these games. They put us in the task of fully constructing an airport from scratch and then managing it in free-mode or scenario based missions. So you can finally see how boring it all can be. Bad graphics, repetitive sounds don’t help at all in the monotonous dull gameplay. The shocking part is I have only spoken about the first part till now.
The second part shows no improvement whatsoever. Bad graphics, repetitive sounds, dull gameplay (Didn’t I just use these words earlier). In the second part we had paperwork related to finance, heaps of it, perhaps to avoid seeing the appalling textures and dreary gameplay for a break. Having a state of the art PC config (at that time) did not help. And it would take loads of time even with petty things like placing a palm tree (which by the way would cost around 20k $). The game consisted of terrible midi sounds as music which you’ll eventually turn off to a peaceful gameplay only to realize there is nothing else to hear actually except for the irritating plane sounds.
The third part improved to some extent but stayed right there in the useless-zone. All the three games had poor tutorials. Poor and dumb actually as it only taught the basics and threw us into the main game to figure out what to do next (probably thinking that we are the game developers). Dumb because when it showed what to do, you will laugh out loud when it would try to put runways over already built objects. It would get it right though after wasting 1-2 minutes of your time. So concluding this, buy all the three games then use them as paper weights or something. It will be “worth” it.
4. 25 To Life (2006), Eidos:
“25 to Life” refers to the unfixed sentence provided to a criminal in court before he is put on parole. So if you play this game you have to serve 25 years in jail. Yes I’m not kidding and perhaps after playing it once you will prefer jail than this game. This is another one of a GTA-clone and sadly a dreadful one. Cops and robbers gameplay, smart running and gunning, cool action, great story. Don’t buy 25 to Life if you want all this.
So basically the action involves entering areas, killing a bunch of cops (who don’t seem to like calling for backup) pick up health packs and moving on to next area and doing the same. Unimpressive linearity! The game only focuses on combat. We have three characters to control and they are more or less identical in every aspect and you just have to aimlessly kill and kill. In the gameplay field you can lean side to side thus while taking cover you can lean out to shoot the baddies who might also do the same.
But it gets pathetic nonetheless because the bad guys are very mystified. They will mindlessly dash towards you emptying their gun probably muttering afterwards “I’m all out, finish me”. Some will take cover and will be oblivious to your presence (even if you’ve taken shots at them). And some might be shooting somewhere else completely even if you’re out in the open giving them a clear shot. Not to mention the headshots which are sometimes more than one bullet per guy (without helmets). Sometimes you’ll have a friend to assist you and it would be better to rather shoot him first because he definitely thinks he is playing alone and he will be shooting mindlessly everywhere hoping that someone will catch a bullet (even if it’s our player).
Graphics show variety at macro level but gets generic and they were so perfectly designed that medium or far ranged enemies camouflage into them. So first you search for them before the chance to eliminate them. There is nothing fun in this game compelling you to get and play this. If you missed this game’s release by chance, throw a party!
3. Iron Man (2008), Sega:
We have already put Iron Man in our “not so impressive CHUMPS of 2008” feature and it now smoothly reaches our Worst PC Games ever list. I hope the developers are happy to convert such a great on-screen super hero to a loser in the game. Firstly this game was released just a while ago i.e. a 2008 game but the graphics are primitive, on a PC. Disappointing! Not even up to the level of the Xbox 360 and PS3 versions. That’s a shame compared to what the PC graphics level can go up to now.
Anyway graphics are not everything in a game… is Iron Man satisfactory in other aspects? Let’s have a look. Iron Man isn’t really a trash title but an average one. It was a disappointment due to its expectations. The game is easy, quite a lot easy actually. The game controls like any other third person shooter and adding to the Iron Man experience you have the floating and after burning and energy management options which are not bad. But that’s what we end up with; you fly somewhere reach the enemy then switch to floating, take him out and then proceed, over and over again. Monotonous action compels you to check out which movie’s on TV. You will finish with this very short game (if you take the pains) in a jiffy and if you die a couple of times while trying, you definitely are a first time gamer. Only for die hard Iron Man fans.
2. Shrek 2 (2006), Activision:
Shrek was a loveable character in the movies but had a critical failure when he appeared in video games. The first Shrek’s video game was on consoles which really made everyone use their Shrek CDs as Frisbees. After the second movie released and was a success another video game came out trailing it following loosely the same storyline. So basically in this Shrek 2 you run around and jump around (shocking!) and occasionally smash objects. That’s pretty much all you can hope.
There is too much discomfort, no customization of controls. Use left click to kill anyone who comes in your way. Then again, and again and again… The process goes on, till the game is over in around more or less 3 hours. There are no interesting puzzles to keep you occupied, all you are to do is watch Shrek finish off his opponents and then look around the environment which is also not amusing. Bad clipping, awkward textures makes it all very distasteful. I rather not speak more about the camera and the tremendous repetition. People who probably played this are burning right now.
Even Shrek fans won’t be able to digest this game because it has no play value even for the first time. The graphics are clunky, the gameplay is dull, and sound is not enough to overcome other cons. To push the criticism further it can be said the characters don’t feel like Shrek, Fiona or the Donkey. So is this really Shrek 2? Perhaps it is “Random Cartoon Characters 2”. If still you feel the urge to play a bad title play Iron Man.
1. Extreme PaintBrawl (1998), Headgames
The king of bad games is here! Extreme PaintBrawl, which is a FPS and is non violent and is the reason good games are good because everyone including the developers wish they would go back in time so this game was never created. PaintBrawl puts you in a capture the flag style gameplay with paint loaded guns. You have your team mates and the opponent teams to share the misery with. But can you really do that if the AI doesn’t exist. You are more or less alone in this pitiable game.
Firstly, talking about the Practice option, you are thrown into one of the environments. That’s about it. You are alone to wander about in the place like a retard throwing paint all over. “Oh Yea now you are a real pro at this game!” Now coming onto the main gameplay the enemy are super-aimers so they’ll immediately throw a bullet (sorry I mean paint) towards you and you are a goner. So where is the gameplay here, you can’t avoid 8 people shooting at you guaranteed to hit. Don’t think about the teammates please, to absolutely no help what so ever they are just there to mock you I think. You will witness these morons rush as soon as the game starts and when they reach a solid object like a wall they just stick there. That’s a great help. Perhaps the further dumber enemy AI will be intimidated by our team mates giving us an opportunity to take a shot at them.
Sound was the only thing that could argue that this game is not a compilation of garbage. Guitar and heavy bass music are fair enough but won’t completely save you from this wretched experience of a video game, if you can call it a video game. It surprisingly spawned 3 sequels which were more or less terrible just like the first. If you have an arch nemesis, gift-wrap Extreme Paintbrawl in a glamorous design with proper red ribbons and everything and send it to him in premium courier.
- by Anubhav Priyadarshi